Watching 30 Rock

Dear Tina Fey,

Hey there. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I haven’t been avoiding you, Tina Fey, I promise. I guess I’ve been trying to give you some space and all, since all filmed episodes of 30 Rock have now aired (and let me tell you, that “Midnight Train to Georgia” number was freakin’ brilliant) and I know you can’t be filming or airing any new episodes right now, so I thought you might be sad. But also, this is time you can be spending with your gorgeous little baby, Alice, and that’s a good thing. Lots of Octopus Time, right? Awesome.

What else have you been up to lately? Catching up on reality shows? Watching some Deal or No Deal? You seem like a secret American Gladiators fan. Or maybe you bought a Wii and have been playing Super Mario Galaxy and Guitar Hero. Whatever you’ve been doing, Tina Fey, we hope you have been relaxing and having some fun and not stressing out too much. We’d totally like to help you de-stress and I really don’t mean that in a dirty way.

But I’ve been hearing rumors here and there, Tina Fey, that there have been some breakthroughs in talks and that the writers’ strike could be resolved as soon as the end of this week. The end of this week! That makes me want to do some sort of Octopus dance! I won’t do that in public, because I don’t want to embarrass myself, but if this rumor turns out to be true, I will wait until it’s just me and the dog and the cats at home and I will Octopus dance myself all over my house! I’d like to think that you and the 30 Rock writers and the cast (even Alec Baldwin) will be dancing around your living rooms too.

Tina Fey, 30 Rock, Writers’ Strike

Dear Tina Fey,

Congratulations, Tina Fey, on winning the 2008 Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in a Comedy Series. You know how excited we are for you here at Watching 30 Rock both as bloggers who write a site about your show and also as big fans of both the show, you, and all your other work. We are so happy for you! Finally getting the recognition you deserve as an amazing comedic actress.

We were really, really bummed however, that the SHOW didn’t win the Golden Globe this year, losing to HBO’s Extras which I must admit I have never seen, even though I dig Ricky Gervais. Do you watch that show, Tina Fey? Do you watch any of the other shows nominated in your category? (Californication, Pushing Daisies, Entourage). If you do watch them, do you watch them because you like them or did you just start watching after the nominations so you could check out the competition? It’s okay, Tina Fey, you can tell me. We were also really bummed that Alec Baldwin didn’t win in his category, because he is just getting funnier and funnier with every episode, much like the show itself. And he did do an excellent job finishing his muffin. Please tell him that from us.

So I have another question for you, Tina Fey. Did you even bother watching the pseudo-Golden Globes broadcast tonight, with the douchey hosts from Access Hollywood just standing there telling us who won and offering their “commentary” like we even care what they think. What a joke. I mean, awards shows are always too long and have stupid jokes and boring moments and the occasional pompous speech, but dammit, that is why we watch them! To see who shows up in a stupid dress or drunk or who didn’t bother to comb their hair. I’m sure that is at least part of the reason you like to go too!

So congratulations, Tina Fey. We would totally like to see your Golden Globes some time and I totally don’t mean that in a dirty way.

Stay righteous, Tina Fey.

Lori

Tina Fey, 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin, Golden Globes

Dear Tina Fey,

We’re really fed up with the crap that’s passing for entertainment tonight. Celebrity Apprentice? Really? Is Omarosa really a celebrity? Isn’t she famous for something heavy falling on her head and being cranky? And isn’t Thursdays on NBC suppose to be chock full of comedies? Last night featured Deal or No Deal that Apprentice shit and ER which no one cares about. Can they no longer show reruns of the Office or does TBS have full run of those?

I mean I can only watch guys doin’ the nasty with an ottoman so many times on You tube or look at a walrus kissing a beluga whale on cuteoverload.com. Although some of the mash-ups of the guys dry humping the Ottoman are pretty damn funny, but not as funny as 30 Rock is Tina Fey. We’d be happier watching you and Rachel Dratch play Wii, make cookies or watch guys hump an Ottoman on You Tube than watch most of the stuff on TV.

No, I’m not obsessed with that video Tina Fey, I just want to have quality television options available not only to myself but all of America. Seriously how often can we watch fat people exercise, not eat donuts, stand on big scales then cry? For me, not too freakin’ often. I will tell you what I can watch often. Wait for it…guys humping ottomans.

But seriously Tina Fey. We hope you had a nice relaxing holiday season filled with lots of octopus time. We also hope NBC realizes that football season is almost over and they can’t glom onto NFL network when they need programing for a Saturday night. Maybe soon NBC will give the guys who hump ottomans a show. It could be like Deal or No Deal meets Who Wants to be a Millionaire where contestants answer trivia questions and if correct get to make sweet, sweet love to furniture. Think about it Tina Fey. This could be must see TV in the near future and what a frightening future it is.

Pretty Ricky Late Night Special, Tina Fey, NBC, Deal or No Deal, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Rachel Dratch

Dear Tina Fey,

Okay, I first want to tell you that we have really, really been enjoying season two of 30 Rock so far. Funny, funny stuff and if I tried to quote back everything we have loved then we would be here for a while. But our favorite episode so far is probably “Cougars” because Frank was gay for Jamie. Gay for Jamie! I hope this comes up again, even briefly, because we totally love Gay-For-Jamie-Frank.

But that’s not why I am writing to you tonight. I am writing because I have a question. It might be a litle uncomfortable but I am going to be direct. Even if it is a little awkward. Tina Fey, where is Rachel Dratch? We are seven episodes into season two and we haven’t seen her at all, not one cameo, not even one glimpse in a crowd scene. Just what is up with that? No need for the cat wrangler? The blue dude? Elizabeth Taylor? Barbara F’n Walters? Come on, Tina Fey!
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Dear Tina Fey,

How are you doing Tina Fey? Sorry we haven’t written in a while. Do you miss us, Tina Fey? Because we are writing to tell you how much we will miss you once the new episodes of 30 Rock have all been shown and there are no more to show because of the writers strike. We will miss you a lot, Tina Fey.

I know this must be a hard time for you, Tina Fey, with the strike and all. I’m sure you are torn between wanting what is best for your writers, yet also not wanting your show to be off the air too long. We know that November its sweeps month, so it’s important that good, funny, quality shows get aired and get good ratings. Yet I know how much you support your writers. We do to, Tina Fey! In fact, in a parallel universe, we like to believe that WE are a couple of your writers!
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Hello, Tina Fey. How are you doing? I want to apologize in advance if I am sort of grumpy today, Tina Fey. It’s been an aggravating day. Some douchebag smashed my car window and now I have to pay to have it replaced because my deductible is high. That sucks, Tina Fey. But I bet if something like that ever happened to you, you’d find a way to make it funny on 30 Rock. You take Liz Lemons and make Liz Lemonade! (See, that’s a pun! You can totally use that, I don’t mind!)

I have a question for you, Tina Fey, something I’ve wondered about for a while now. What’s on your Tivo, Tina Fey? What shows do you record? What do you have a season pass for? What gets a thumbs up or a thumbs down? Do you watch other NBC shows? How about The Office? Or maybe you are a fan of Ugly Betty or House? Do you Tivo your own show? It’s okay, you can tell me. Do you have a secret Tivo in the other room where you record all your guilty pleasure shows, like Cribs or My Super Sweet Sixteen or Flip that House? Because that is totally what Amy and I do. The cool shows are on the living room DVR and the embarrassing ones are on the Tivo in the bedroom. Oooh, do you watch Project Runway? The new season starts next month!

(BTW, when are YOU going to be on Cribs? We’d love to see what is in your fridge and I totally don’t mean that in a dirty way.)
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Dear Tina Fey,

It has been documented several times already on our very young blog, as well as on our other, less classy blog, that we love you. We love you because you are pretty and smart and funny and geeky and that is pretty much perfect for us. We sometimes argue over which of us you would like more. You may think we are kidding, but we are not. In fact that is pretty much the only thing Amy and I fight about, except occasionally over where to go to eat dinner.

(I bet you and I would never argue over where to eat dinner.)

But what it comes down to is that we love you because we want to be more like you. Very funny, very smart, very nerdy, and writing for a funny, smart, nerdy television show. (And we wouldn’t mind being smoking hot as well.) If we ever have babies we want them to have role models like you.

In this picture, from an ad in Vanity Fair for American Express, there are so many examples of why we find you freakin’ awesome.

1. The MacBook. We have MacBooks too! I just got mine! Do you use iTunes too? Where is your iPod? What is on your iPod? Do you have secret guilty stuff on there, like the new Britney Spears song?

2. The adorable child who hangs out in your office and is using the MacBook and who isn’t dressed in stupid frilly clothes. Your daughter is a-freakin-dorable. We are a little concerned that she appears to be taking hair styling tips from Jimmy Fallon, however.

3. The desk that is more like a table. Just like mine! Except mine came from Ikea and yours probably came from some store where people with more money and better taste shop.

4. Chattery teeth on the desk. Classic, classic, comedy.

5. You ain’t no neat freak. We aren’t either, which anyone who has visited our apartment could tell you. Especially our office. In fact, I am writing this from my couch right now because the office is too messy to deal with.

Okay, so it may seem like we are a little obsessive here, but trust us, Tina Fey, we are not crazy. We just think you are the greatest. We’d love to have Octopus Time with you and I totally don’t mean that in a dirty way. But maybe it’s better if we never meet, because if you were mean to me I would never forgive myself.

Stay righteous, Tina Fey.

Lori

P.S. One more thing. Do you have cats? I bet you have cats. We have cats! We’ve decided that someday, when we get a new cat, we are going to name her Tina Fey. Not Tina, but Tina Fey. Then we are going to get a slightly smaller cat with rumpled hair and name her Amy Pohler. Then we will build them a tiny Weekend Update desk and …. Wait. I’ve said too much, haven’t I?

Tina Fey, 30 Rock, Amy Pohler, Vanity Fair, American Express, Octopus Time